lack of slack

Not to get all epistemological on your friends & family asses in the middle of this slightly amusing alter kockers in wonderland (ok, Ben?) blog, but I don't think we appreciate just how blessed we are as a society in that we truly are cut an insane amount of slack in our estadounidense lives. I know we think of Mexico as perhaps the alpha dog of Latin manana-ism, and in many many ways it is, of course, as you'll plainly see whenever I bring us up to date on the progress(?) of the house and our stuff-still-in-exile(!). But not so much so, oh pampered citizens, when it comes to government bureaucracy and the banking system. I feel you, Gregor Samsa!

Think about your signature. Go ahead. Got it? How often do you use it? I mean your real signature, not the dashed zip-line you make with your finger-tip on a the Ipad at the hipster coffee shop or with an inkless bic on the credit card receipt those rare occasions when you're not internet shopping. Do you really ever use your true full name, your official signature anymore? And does the world even care? There are times, I bet, when you mistakenly or purposefully dash-off a vague mark against your spouse's or friend's account right? It could even be at the DMV or on your tax return. And what happens? The entire interconnected global poltico-economic system cuts you enormous slack and lets you walk away with the latte, a drivers license or W2 without a blink. Not in Mexico, mis pampered amigos! How this comes into play you'll see in a mo.

Now at DAY9 of our adventure, we have developed a fairly consistent daily plan of action, split between:
-Trolling the town for affordable but oh-so-design-perfect Jackie-sanctioned furnishings for the looming tabla-rasa of our feveredly completing house. 
-Doing our linguistically-challenged best on the construction site to communicate changes and choices to our incredibly patient and saintly contractor, Valente.
-Scouring the area for ferreterias to take pix of door handles, sinks, paint colors, sinks, toilets, at Valente's direction.
-Trying to get hold of Magic Marcos (and our exiled stuff shipped from NY.)
-Waiting in a bank, immigration or lawyers office.
We haven't even started our Spanish lessons or looked for a car yet and the relative time devoted to these regular duties is by no means equatable, as you'll now see.
 
Yesterday, Day8 saw more than half of our entire day devoted to sitting across the desk from the friendly, helpful but somewhat high-strung Elizabeth Ponce De Leon (yes, I know) at CIBanco for the third day running. Seems that our initial contact from Sunday breakfast at El Vergel, Josefa had passed us on completely to her gringo-expeditor. After several hours of back and forth over the same information across some 15 forms between two sections of the bank the bottomline was we still didn't have a checking account with a Mexican bank because, neither of us could replicate our Passport signatures to Ms. Ponce de Leon's satisfaction! Are you getting this? The more we try, the less it looks like our signatures. We've evidently lost the ability to consistently sign our names in the land of don't worry about it, AI and insurance will take care of any malfeasance you may be thinking of perpetrating with that antiquated pen. Thus, in our new reality, no robotic recreation of a signature laid down on a US passport form ten years ago, no deal, no account, no dice, NO SLACK!  

Same with our new local immigration lawyer who just this morning had us sign our several page petitions to turn our visas into residency cards with the admonition that our signatures had to match those on our passports or our $10k peso fee will have been paid in vain. 

So now we wait for the banking and immigration calligraphy gods in Mexico DF to hand down their decision as to if we are the same people today we were in 2010 and will be in 2020 and thus can stay in this No Slack paradise, our fates hanging by a cursive thread.

Next episode: Are we actually going out to visit our stuff in exile this afternoon with the magical Marcos in tow? Will Jackie find the right menaje de puertas? Don't miss the proxima exciting episode!